Sep 17, 2011

real life

It was made very clear to me a few weekends ago that my life is my own. This may sound like a very strange and simple statement that most people would say 'of course'. My marriage broke down 6 years ago (and the divorce was finalised a few months ago) and this meant that my life with the kids became off limits for a while. A request  made and respected at the time.

Things change. Agreements get broken. Life moves on. And now I feel that after a few intense conversations my path has totally split from that of my ex. His life is his, and mine is my own.

This space is mine. Has always been. But prying eyes and people who want to stick their unwanted noses into my business do. I can't stop that. I can't choose who reads this blog. But I can choose to ignore the limitations I feel that have been put on upon me. It is now the right time to be more open about my life, my family and the struggles I go through.

It's easy to hide behind the craft. It's easy to take pretty pictures and upload them. It's harder to be real. I'm not saying that everything will be poured out here, that's not my style. But snippets of life may creep in every now and again.

I hope in some way that this encourages other women going through a similar situation. You will recover. Look to your friends (the close ones) they will stick with you and balance out the truth. And most of all lean into God. He has held me, he will hold you.

31 comments:

Shona~ LALA dex press said...

Thank you for this post. It rings so true for me right now. I mentioned that I wanted to shut my blog down after my 16-yr relationship ended, but damn-it, my life did not end + for the past 5 1/2 years my blog has been an important part of my life, both creatively + in the support I have received from people I have "met" along the way. I credited my friend Susan for persuading me to continue, but really it was my dad who really pushed me to start blogging again, telling me that opening up will really speak to so many other people who are in a similar position, because the sad truth is, my story is far too common.

Thank you, have a wonderful weekend.

chaletgirl said...

You look happy in this photo; I hope that you feel that way inside too. Looking forward to reading some of the snippets soon.

All the best.

timangerphoto said...

Bravo for the re-emergence of you. I'm so pleased to hear you sounding my confident and less bound. It'll be fantastic to see more of the personality, flair and creativity that goes to making all of your wonderful creations. Welcome back *hug*

timangerphoto said...

Of course that last post should read, "more confident...", not "my..." You go girl!

Lisa said...

Good for you KD! I can't wait to see more of "you" and your gorgeous boys in your blog.

Aunty Fuzz said...

At last. Proverbs 3:5-6. Love as always.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your wonderful words. They certainly do help.

Kate said...

You do look really happy and so do your boys!

Bianca said...

Thanks for sharing this Kristen. It's great to see you smile with your boys. Enjoy every day of life.. it's only short. xx

sarah barnett said...

Thanks Kristen for your amazing honesty. I am so encouraged by your openness and how you have come through a tough time with the help of God. He is our strength and refuge. I pray for joy as he continues to uphold you and you gorgeous boys.
sarah

One Flew Over said...

Great to see you looking so happy...onwards and upwards!

x

Nikki said...

You GO, girl! Be as fabulous on your blog as you are in real ife. We love you!!!

Martin Johnson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie said...

I'm wrapping my arms around you KD - all power to you. Been thinking of you lots today as a new bag is being born in my sewing room with your ladybird fabric!

Martin Johnson said...

KD - What an inspiring post. I know its been tough but it's great to read that there was light at the end of your journey to 'be me'.
Now all you need to do is to stop stopping your car in the street to talk to old men ... ;-)
Well done

flowerpress said...

Hooray for you, that sounds liberating :-)

Kristen Doran said...

Thanks everyone. Those smiles are real. Life is good (mostly).
MJ: Can I just clear up to everyone that reads this, I only stop and say hello to old men on the street when they happen to be my old Communications Manager hanging around Gloria Jeans for the free wi-fi ;)

Bec said...

Go you!!

Blueberry Park said...

you look unbelievably relaxed and happy in this photo, Kristen...go girl!

Belinda said...

All the best Kristen. You are a truly lovely lady (hmm girl?) who deserves to be happy. I will look forward to seeing more of you and the boys on the blog.

Jodie said...

KD, I love you .......and if you ever need my "services" just let me know. (speak to melly).
I'm so happy that you feel free.
You are an awesome human being .

Tanya said...

Great photo kristen, love the realness. Take care

Margaret said...

Thank-you for sharing. I hope that He gives you the strength that you need to continue to design wonderful fabrics and to share what you want when the time is right.

Alex O said...

I read a great Cherokee Proverb this week. "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today". Sounds to me like you are letting your yesterday's go and living in today. Way to go its very brave of you.

bkhdesign said...

Hi Kristen, I totally get where you are at...I am going through some big changes in my life too....
Great to be open about how you feel. As we know there are many people in exactly the same boat...
stay in touch....
Bettina xoxo
P.S. I hope the markets went well for you. YEPPIE!

Cheryl said...

Thanks Kristen, have followed your blog because I have always remembered your kindness and your lovely boys. This does encourage me, also in a similar situation. Love, Cheryl

Elissa said...

GO GIRL! You ROCK and are a total inspiration as a designer & a friend! xx

Stephanie and Carlos said...

KUDOS babe... kudos... xo Steph

Nydia said...

People are always going to give you opinions whether you ask for them or not. I think it is better to think of the unrequested ones as white noise that should be ignored. Most often those being judgmental are the ones who don't want to look at their own lives and try to make themselves feel better by pointing out what they perceive to be other people's short comings. What you went through is hard and it takes a lot of strength to get through. Congratulations on the start of a new chapter in your life.

ellie said...

You are a strong brave woman.

You inspire me more than you could know. Through your work - creative and business aspect. And also in the small snippets of your personal life I feel privileged to have been able to share.

I always remember the quote that those who mind those matter, and those who matter don't mind. True friends will always love, respect and appreciate you for who you are - those you continue to "offer their advice" aren't true friends. It's hard sometimes listening to ourselves and realising we're allowed to ignore that advice and live our lives for ourselves. Yah to you!

xxxxx

Rosalind said...

Thanks for sharing. Here's to freedom in what you want your creative space to be.